Most children have temper tantrums between the ages of 1 and 4 years old.
At ages 1 and 2, tantrums are normally caused by the inability to properly communicate ideas, concepts and needs.
What happens in these cases is that your baby becomes frustrated with his or her inability to communicate.
At ages 3 and 4, toddlers are normally trying to assert their own wants and needs and end up throwing a tantrum because they want you to do what they want you to do.
Emotion is the driver behind behaviour. All people act and behave in a manner that is determined by what emotions they are feeling. While this is also true of adults it is especially important when dealing with young children.
Tiredness, fear, conflict with siblings or peers, sudden interruptions in activities and disturbances in family life and schedule can all trigger temper tantrums in young children.
These triggers will not always cause an immediate tantrum and stress early in the day will sometimes only manifests itself as a tantrum before bed time.
Knowing why our children experience temper tantrums is important, however, this knowledge does little when it comes to a screaming toddler who refuses to be consoled or comforted outside of your Edu-care Centre.
The silver lining to this situation is that tantrums are often over as quickly as they start and by using the correct tools and techniques you can easily overcome most if not all tantrum situations.
Take note of situations that push your child into a temper tantrum. By identifying these situations now, you can avoid them altogether and plan around them in the future.
Hunger and rest are both very important factors when it comes to your mood as an adult or a child. Makes sure you have snacks prepared and ready and that your child is well rested before any activities.
An important tool when dealing with young children is not to just say “no” whenever your child has a whim.
The best response is to ignore the behaviour and maintain your own emotional composure.
By allowing your child a little bit of freedom you can lessen the stresses they experience every day. One way to manifest this concept is to offer choices to your child so that they can feel like they are in control.
Let your child know what is going to happen before it happens, this gives them time to adjust to the new idea or to finish up with the last one. Your child should be told at least five minutes before the time that they are going to have to stop playing in five minutes time.
In line with our previous statements about not always saying no, it can sometimes be helpful to stay a few extra minutes at the swing if your child wants to.
Sometimes you can use a joke or some sort of distraction to draw a child out of a tantrum. This can be useful when you identify a situation where you know your child will become upset. By drawing attention away from the cause or object of frustration, you can avoid a tantrum completely.
Sometimes there is no easy win and our best advice is not to lose your temper. There is no reasoning with a child who is having a temper tantrum and by responding negatively you will only make the situation worse.
With that said, you cannot concede in these kinds of situations. By giving in to your child, it teaches them that throwing a temper tantrum reaps positive results and therefore will continue to throw tantrums every time they do not get their own way.
This leaves parents with two approaches.
The first and best option is to give your child a firm hug and talk in soothing tones trying to console them.
If this does not work, the second option is to put your child in “time out”. Removing them from the situation by sending them to their room until they have calmed down – enforces your control without having to raise your voice.
For parents who find themselves in the middle of an “escape tantrum”, where their child is attempting to avoid doing something they do not want to (putting on their jacket, sitting at the table, etc.) – this technique may be helpful.
In this case, you can’t simply ignore them. By ignoring them or putting them in “time-out”, you’re no longer demanding that they wear their jacket, or whatever needs to be done.
Instead, tell your child that if they do not get dressed in 5 seconds, you are going to help them by showing them how to put their jacket on and after that, they are going into time-out. This should always be said in a calm manner. It's important to remain collected when managing a tantrum.
At first, your child might not make any move to put their jacket on. If they do not, gently help them to put it on. Remain firm in your action, it’s not meant to be a pleasant experience but it should never include physical harm.
If your child begins to slap or bite you, continue putting the jacket on. Once the jacket is on, put them in time-out or take away a privilege.
By following through with actions, your child sees that they still have to wear their jacket, however, now they have additional consequences for their unacceptable behaviour.
There are hundreds of parenting technique blogs available. Some advising “passive parenting”, others suggesting a more “hands on, less no, no, no” approach.
Of course, there is no one size fits all tactic when it comes to managing your child’s tantrums. However, there is one fact that remains the same in every situation – you’re the adult and you’re in charge.
At Kay-Dee Educare Centre, each of our staff members is trained in the best approaches to early child development. We aim to teach our children the importance of having respect for their parents, others and the environment.
For more information about our centre, please contact us. Or to view more helpful articles, please follow the link.
Get the latest updates in your email box automatically.
Your nickname:
Email address:
Subscribe