There are many different theories and methods that can be used to make the task of raising your child an easier one.

Some of these methods are useful and some can be quite controversial. However, at the end of the day, there is no single right way to raise a child.

Parenting is a delicate process as we all know; therefore, thorough research is encouraged before implementing any form of method to assist parenting.

It is not a secret that a child’s sleeping pattern can be the cause of major stress within the household.

Inconsistent sleeping and crying before and during sleep regularly interfere with other functioning’s of the home.

One will often hear debates about what the best way is to deal with a child whose sleep is either interrupted or delayed due to crying.

Some mothers will tell you that it is better to hold your child and console them until they fall asleep peacefully. However, some mothers firmly believe it is better to allow your child to “cry it out”.

What is the “cry it out” method?

This is a sleep training method that was developed by a paediatrician named Richard Ferber. This method allows your child to cry for a pre-determined amount of time before you are allowed to console him.

You are allowed to spend one minute with the child but you’re not allowed to pick him up.

Allowing your child to cry it out means that you are ultimately teaching your baby to self-soothe whilst maintaining minimal physical contact.

Once the minute has passed, you are to leave the room without saying a word and you will then repeat the same process the next time your baby begins to cry.

The ultimate process will result in intervals between consoling your child become further apart which is said to be the reason your baby learns to effectively self-soothe.

According to Ferber, allowing your child to cry it out before naps is not encouraged. This is because as we get older we no longer take as many naps.

Therefore, using the cry it out method before and during night time sleeps is when it will be most beneficial.

Is the “cry it out” method effective?

There are many poorly researched claims that state that this method has many benefits for you and your child, such as:

• Your baby will be less stressed as it learns to self-soothe
• Considered completely safe by certain paediatricians and is encouraged by them
• Babies fall asleep faster because they realise crying does not help
• There are no behavioural effects
• You as the parent can get on with your daily life

What is the truth about the cry it out method and controlled crying?

• Baby’s stress levels are drastically increased

Prolonged crying releases the stress hormone known as cortisol. Consistent high levels of cortisol can be extremely harmful and can have long term effects on brain development. Constantly being in a stressed state drastically increases the chances of developing anxiety and other psychological problems in adulthood.

• Maternal instincts towards the child becomes altered

Not attending to a distressed child goes against every innate instinct that a mother owns. A mother should nurture and protect her baby. By allowing a child to cry it out, the mother’s natural love for her child will slowly become tainted. Consequently, her child will lose faith in her as his protector and caregiver.

• Prolonged crying can lead to brain damage

Leaving a child to cry for long periods of time can physically alter the way the brain works.

These changes will make children more prone to trauma and stress in later years. It is no secret that infants need constant affection and physical touch to facilitate the healthy development of their brains.

• Creates trust issues between child and parent

The only way an infant knows how to communicate is through crying. They have not yet developed to ability to manipulate a parent using their emotions.

Therefore, when a baby cries, it is trying to tell the parent something. Having these attempts at communication ignored by the parent can greatly affect the trust the baby has in the parent.

Lack of trust in the parent will cause major issues of insecurity, communication and other interpersonal skills in adulthood.

Research shows that allowing your baby to cry itself to sleep is a form of neglect which is classified as a major form of childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma is directly linked to behavioural problems in adulthood such as addiction and also aggression. These behaviours are easily passed on to future generations.

A parent’s duty is to provide comfort, safety and love for their baby. This fosters healthy brain development which results in a healthy, independent child who will be able to live a fulfilling life.

Kay-Dee Educare Centre Cape Town

Kay-Dee Educare is a daycare and educare centre that aims at understanding the intricate process of raising a healthy child and we take pride in facilitating growth and development according to your child’s personal requirements.

For more information about our educare or curriculum, please contact us.